so i'll shortly be shutting down this blog. i think it is probably time to take my personal life off of the internet...
but no fear! i will still be blogging, and i've already started at
www.cocoanymph.blogspot.com
i hope to see you there!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
artsy fartsy
ok, so just a quick update to let you know i'm alive and just super busy. in the next while i'll roll out some posts about prudence the fridge of love, a hippie house in oregon, knock knock jokes at the zoo, and whatever else i can think of.
but for now, a quick note about something that's been on my mind lately. to start, a little story. today a lady walked into the shop and said 'you look just like your mom.' and it's true, i do, but how did this stranger in vancouver know? well, she's the niece of my parent's neighbours, and when she visited them last week she met my mom, who insisted that she come visit the store. and somehow, the conversation came around to the fact that last night i took some time at the shop to sculpt a little chocolate frog. (he's not quite done yet or i'd introduce you). anyway, i pointed him out, sitting on my work table, and she said 'but... it's green,' with a puzzled look on her face. and i thought, well, yeah, frogs are green. but then i realized that she was confused by how the chocolate could be green. i explained to her about colouring white chocolate, and it struck me how things that are just commonplace to me are magical to other people. and i got really excited about the fact that i'm making art... it's a little sculpture over there, and you can really tell what it is.
i never considered myself an artist before, but here i am, starting a new career (again). lately, in rare spare time, i've found myself making screen prints, and block prints, and bookbinding. i've taken an art class and practice drawing. it's something i've always wanted to do and never thought i'd learn. i hate that my business card says 'chocolatiere,' i think i'm going to change it, to something just a little more... artsy.
but for now, a quick note about something that's been on my mind lately. to start, a little story. today a lady walked into the shop and said 'you look just like your mom.' and it's true, i do, but how did this stranger in vancouver know? well, she's the niece of my parent's neighbours, and when she visited them last week she met my mom, who insisted that she come visit the store. and somehow, the conversation came around to the fact that last night i took some time at the shop to sculpt a little chocolate frog. (he's not quite done yet or i'd introduce you). anyway, i pointed him out, sitting on my work table, and she said 'but... it's green,' with a puzzled look on her face. and i thought, well, yeah, frogs are green. but then i realized that she was confused by how the chocolate could be green. i explained to her about colouring white chocolate, and it struck me how things that are just commonplace to me are magical to other people. and i got really excited about the fact that i'm making art... it's a little sculpture over there, and you can really tell what it is.
i never considered myself an artist before, but here i am, starting a new career (again). lately, in rare spare time, i've found myself making screen prints, and block prints, and bookbinding. i've taken an art class and practice drawing. it's something i've always wanted to do and never thought i'd learn. i hate that my business card says 'chocolatiere,' i think i'm going to change it, to something just a little more... artsy.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
a lot of the time i think i'm out of sight, out of mind. and then i see things like jill's etsy site...
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
sparrow
i've been thinking long and hard about how to write this post. i want to be completely open and honest about how asking for help to buy a fridge and save my business has affected me, but i'm afraid of being too open. this is entrenched in emotion, human relationships, community, and what it means to help. these things are beautiful but dangerous. so bear with me as i try to walk softly into sharing this experience with you.
first, we have money. we have enough money to buy the fridge that is the right fridge for our business. after months of dreaming about a reliable cooler, and researching the best option, i knew what i wanted, in an ideal world. i never thought i would get it. when the old fridge broke down last week, long before we could afford a new one, i didn't know what to do. i cried for a day. i was overwhelmed by the thought of trying to find a way to afford a piece of equipment that wouldn't let me down. i'm not sure if people realize how dire this is. if we can't prove that our fridge stays within a particular range, the city has every right to shut us down for health code violations. we are a new business - we have no extra money, time, or energy. we are working as hard as we can. so this was overwhelming. i prayed, which is what i do when i'm happy or sad, stressed or content. i believe in a God who loves me and wants what is best for me, and i believe He gave me this business and would help me out. His response? I had an overwhelming feeling that i needed to ask for help. from who? from everyone i know.
it made sense. there are many people who care enough about me and what i'm doing that they would help if they were aware of the problem. but if they didn't know that i needed them, how could they help? i pictured us closing our doors, and hearing people tell me after that they would have helped if they only knew. so i told everyone i knew. you are probably one of those people if you are reading this.
the response has been amazing. over forty people donated in amounts ranging from pocket change to over a thousand dollars (more on that one later). we have exactly (no more, no less) enough to buy the fridge that is right - one that will keep things at the right temperature, provide us with the right amount of cold storage space, and be completely reliable. and if it isn't, the company we got it from will bring us a new one.
it has been fascinating and humbling to see where the donations have come from, and how people have responded with words as well as their cash. some examples:
in response to me saying that 'i hate asking for help,' my friend Aaron, in his infinite wisdom, said: "FYI, everybody has trouble asking for help, people who don't are called moochers."
in an envelope with a cheque for way too much money: "Rach, the cash is yours. Consider it payment for all the past b-days I've not blessed you with gifts. If you ever try and pay me back I may have to kill you."
i was touched by the donation from a high school pal who i have seen only once since graduation - and that happened to be late last saturday night outside a beer store in winnipeg. a donation came from a cousin i haven't seen in years and years. the money came mostly from people i rarely see, or those who have almost nothing themselves. one friend - an artist who works himself to the bone to pay his bills - was one of the first to donate, and then continued daily to offer more. i refused more from him, knowing that he has little, but he said 'rach, you never stop helping me, how can i stop helping you?' and i guess that is probably true, though i had never thought of anything i did for him as being significant. i cook him dinner and give him my couch to sleep on when he's in town, no big deal.
this is the part where honesty gets hard and i'm not sure i should talk about it. but people have asked for the true update and here is the truth. asking for help seems to offend some if help equals money. there are some people who never seem to need help, and those people are also the ones who didn't give any. or maybe if you have enough money you don't realize the difference your ten dollars might make when added up with the tens thrown on the pile by others. i don't know, but there were some people in my life i thought would be first in line to help who ignored my plea or wished me luck and kept on walking. i'm not angry about that, i don't question the love of those friends, and i'm certainly not asking for more. it was just kind of surprising.
some friends questioned my motives - wondering if asking for help wasn't just a lazy way to support my business. i assure you that i exhausted all other options before asking for help, and posing the question was the hardest thing i had ever done involving CocoaNymph. having my friends question my motives just made it harder. but i guess you can't please everyone. because of this, i wish the donation process could have been anonymous.
someone anonymously commented on this blog, asking "isn't this counter-intuitive to capitalism?" well, i'm not a capitalist, i believe in community. i have a shop so i can do something that makes people happy and feel loved, and i'm just hoping to make a living at it. i'm not trying to get rich, i just want to make a living and care for people. last week i donated my store space and energy and some chocolate to raise money to help find a cure for cystic fibrosis and we raised several thousand dollars. my store is a venue for musicians to play and make money to support themselves. we profile local and international visual artists, right now we are selling some works by oria dale, the proceeds from which go to send kids to school in the politically unstable Zimbabwe. my point is not to toot my own horn, my point is that we give as much as we can to others, and sometimes it comes back. i never know when i might need help so i give when i can. it just happens that i needed some help this week so i asked. and help came flooding in.
these are the first thoughts. we had one donation in particular that was huge and comes with a remarkable story. i'll try and get that one posted on here in the next couple of days - i want to get it exactly right. in the meantime, i want to make it very clear that i am so so so grateful for the help i received. i will steward your donations with the most care i possibly can. in the meantime, just for the record, i'm not a capitalist, just a grateful sparrow.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
*note: it's been oh, ten minutes since this post went up originally and random people are apologizing for not helping. that's the last thing i wanted to communicate with this - you don't need to feel bad if you didn't give. people were asking me how this experience affected me, and i can't not tell the whole thing. i'm being honest about the great things and the hard things about this, and i'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty for not giving. i don't need any more. if you have money to give, give it to the next person who asks you for help. i got more than i expected and it looked very different from what i thought would happen. that is all. my overly polite canadian self is very worried that i have offended someone, and that is not my intention at all. i don't know how to communicate my gratefulness.
first, we have money. we have enough money to buy the fridge that is the right fridge for our business. after months of dreaming about a reliable cooler, and researching the best option, i knew what i wanted, in an ideal world. i never thought i would get it. when the old fridge broke down last week, long before we could afford a new one, i didn't know what to do. i cried for a day. i was overwhelmed by the thought of trying to find a way to afford a piece of equipment that wouldn't let me down. i'm not sure if people realize how dire this is. if we can't prove that our fridge stays within a particular range, the city has every right to shut us down for health code violations. we are a new business - we have no extra money, time, or energy. we are working as hard as we can. so this was overwhelming. i prayed, which is what i do when i'm happy or sad, stressed or content. i believe in a God who loves me and wants what is best for me, and i believe He gave me this business and would help me out. His response? I had an overwhelming feeling that i needed to ask for help. from who? from everyone i know.
it made sense. there are many people who care enough about me and what i'm doing that they would help if they were aware of the problem. but if they didn't know that i needed them, how could they help? i pictured us closing our doors, and hearing people tell me after that they would have helped if they only knew. so i told everyone i knew. you are probably one of those people if you are reading this.
the response has been amazing. over forty people donated in amounts ranging from pocket change to over a thousand dollars (more on that one later). we have exactly (no more, no less) enough to buy the fridge that is right - one that will keep things at the right temperature, provide us with the right amount of cold storage space, and be completely reliable. and if it isn't, the company we got it from will bring us a new one.
it has been fascinating and humbling to see where the donations have come from, and how people have responded with words as well as their cash. some examples:
in response to me saying that 'i hate asking for help,' my friend Aaron, in his infinite wisdom, said: "FYI, everybody has trouble asking for help, people who don't are called moochers."
in an envelope with a cheque for way too much money: "Rach, the cash is yours. Consider it payment for all the past b-days I've not blessed you with gifts. If you ever try and pay me back I may have to kill you."
i was touched by the donation from a high school pal who i have seen only once since graduation - and that happened to be late last saturday night outside a beer store in winnipeg. a donation came from a cousin i haven't seen in years and years. the money came mostly from people i rarely see, or those who have almost nothing themselves. one friend - an artist who works himself to the bone to pay his bills - was one of the first to donate, and then continued daily to offer more. i refused more from him, knowing that he has little, but he said 'rach, you never stop helping me, how can i stop helping you?' and i guess that is probably true, though i had never thought of anything i did for him as being significant. i cook him dinner and give him my couch to sleep on when he's in town, no big deal.
this is the part where honesty gets hard and i'm not sure i should talk about it. but people have asked for the true update and here is the truth. asking for help seems to offend some if help equals money. there are some people who never seem to need help, and those people are also the ones who didn't give any. or maybe if you have enough money you don't realize the difference your ten dollars might make when added up with the tens thrown on the pile by others. i don't know, but there were some people in my life i thought would be first in line to help who ignored my plea or wished me luck and kept on walking. i'm not angry about that, i don't question the love of those friends, and i'm certainly not asking for more. it was just kind of surprising.
some friends questioned my motives - wondering if asking for help wasn't just a lazy way to support my business. i assure you that i exhausted all other options before asking for help, and posing the question was the hardest thing i had ever done involving CocoaNymph. having my friends question my motives just made it harder. but i guess you can't please everyone. because of this, i wish the donation process could have been anonymous.
someone anonymously commented on this blog, asking "isn't this counter-intuitive to capitalism?" well, i'm not a capitalist, i believe in community. i have a shop so i can do something that makes people happy and feel loved, and i'm just hoping to make a living at it. i'm not trying to get rich, i just want to make a living and care for people. last week i donated my store space and energy and some chocolate to raise money to help find a cure for cystic fibrosis and we raised several thousand dollars. my store is a venue for musicians to play and make money to support themselves. we profile local and international visual artists, right now we are selling some works by oria dale, the proceeds from which go to send kids to school in the politically unstable Zimbabwe. my point is not to toot my own horn, my point is that we give as much as we can to others, and sometimes it comes back. i never know when i might need help so i give when i can. it just happens that i needed some help this week so i asked. and help came flooding in.
these are the first thoughts. we had one donation in particular that was huge and comes with a remarkable story. i'll try and get that one posted on here in the next couple of days - i want to get it exactly right. in the meantime, i want to make it very clear that i am so so so grateful for the help i received. i will steward your donations with the most care i possibly can. in the meantime, just for the record, i'm not a capitalist, just a grateful sparrow.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
*note: it's been oh, ten minutes since this post went up originally and random people are apologizing for not helping. that's the last thing i wanted to communicate with this - you don't need to feel bad if you didn't give. people were asking me how this experience affected me, and i can't not tell the whole thing. i'm being honest about the great things and the hard things about this, and i'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty for not giving. i don't need any more. if you have money to give, give it to the next person who asks you for help. i got more than i expected and it looked very different from what i thought would happen. that is all. my overly polite canadian self is very worried that i have offended someone, and that is not my intention at all. i don't know how to communicate my gratefulness.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
so here's the deal
so my fridge died today. well, it's breathing its last agonal breaths as i type. it has fluctuated in temperature over 15 degrees today, and well, you can't preserve anything in a fridge like that. it's old and probably not worth fixing. as a brand new business we just don't have the cash to buy or even rent a new fridge. i'm not technically allowed to be open without a fridge that stays at four degrees celsius, i'm sure you can imagine this is pretty stressful. so i'm asking for help. i'm bad at asking for help. so i think this is God's way of making me ask every single person i know to help me and teaching me a lesson. and so i am asking that if you have ten bucks to spare, if you can click on the button below and donate it towards the purchase of a new fridge, i'd be extremely thankful, humbled, and blessed. i don't have much else to offer but my gratitude.
note: donations are no longer being accepted. we have enough. if you have money to give, give it to the next person who asks you for help. or you can donate to one of my awesome friends doing valuable things:
Oria - working for justice through the arts in Zimbabwe
Karla - loving people with music
thank you for your support!
note: donations are no longer being accepted. we have enough. if you have money to give, give it to the next person who asks you for help. or you can donate to one of my awesome friends doing valuable things:
Oria - working for justice through the arts in Zimbabwe
Karla - loving people with music
thank you for your support!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
mother's day (a little late)
sometimes things happen in my store that renew my faith in people all together. these are the kinds of things that can make me smile for a week. like this:
about three weeks ago five teenaged boys started coming to my store, all baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts, gangly limbs and ratty shoes. needless to say, these guys don't fit in to my normal demographic. but they were pumped to be in a chocolate shop. they had a sample, and left.
a few days later they returned for more. a few days after that, they were in and bought a bar or two, and left again. i didn't see them until the thursday before mother's day. they marched in, lined up at the counter and very politely counted out their exact change to buy each of their moms a box of chocolates from my store. now this alone would have made my day. but it gets better.
one of the boys, shorter than the rest, freckled, with dark hair and blue eyes, turns to his tall blond buddy and says 'what should we get sharon?' tall guy shrugs and says, 'the same as we got our moms, i guess.'
freckles looks at me and says 'sharon is our friend's mom. he treats her like crap, so we're buying her a mother's day present, cuz she's always cool to us.'
a couple of them have been back since. they make my day when they are here, with their paradox of self-consciousness and newly minted teenager confidence. i'm wondering where boys like that were when i was 15. heck, i'm wondering if there are any out there like that who are thirty...
about three weeks ago five teenaged boys started coming to my store, all baggy pants and hooded sweatshirts, gangly limbs and ratty shoes. needless to say, these guys don't fit in to my normal demographic. but they were pumped to be in a chocolate shop. they had a sample, and left.
a few days later they returned for more. a few days after that, they were in and bought a bar or two, and left again. i didn't see them until the thursday before mother's day. they marched in, lined up at the counter and very politely counted out their exact change to buy each of their moms a box of chocolates from my store. now this alone would have made my day. but it gets better.
one of the boys, shorter than the rest, freckled, with dark hair and blue eyes, turns to his tall blond buddy and says 'what should we get sharon?' tall guy shrugs and says, 'the same as we got our moms, i guess.'
freckles looks at me and says 'sharon is our friend's mom. he treats her like crap, so we're buying her a mother's day present, cuz she's always cool to us.'
a couple of them have been back since. they make my day when they are here, with their paradox of self-consciousness and newly minted teenager confidence. i'm wondering where boys like that were when i was 15. heck, i'm wondering if there are any out there like that who are thirty...
Thursday, May 01, 2008
cool
kirk's favourite writer just profiled us on his website. i was wondering where all these random orders were coming from...
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